Miracle on 34th Street (1947) Review – Santa Claus Almost Destroys Society

Brass Monkey!

Miracle on 34th Street has such a sense of brevity and good humor that it is believable why it is a holiday classic, while also being extremely clever and layered in its messaging. This is all tied together with very solid performances. In the same way the film characters ask each other if Santa is or could be real, the actors never let into the absurdity of this, often taking it seriously. Doris Walker, played by Maureen O’Hara, tries to be pragmatic and open to all sides, while hard leaning to her view on child rearing that you should not lie by saying Santa is real. The film politely and confidently mocks her for whenever she insists on removing the sense of imagination kids have. Her and her daughter Susan, played by Natalie Wood to my surprise, in turn come off a little cold. Still, they aren’t treated as completely wrong.

John Payne as Fred Gailey acts not unlike a child and is rewarded for it. He has a strong sense of loyalty for Santa. Many characters in the movie talk about being honorable or moral, only to crumble when it’s more convenient for them to do something else. Fred is important as he is the one who doesn’t break to others. While no one in the movie is less than stellar, they simply do not compare to the big bundle of joy that is Edmund Gwenn as Kris Kringle. It isn’t explained why anyone believes he is Santa, but the inferred reason is that he is so positive and joyful that everyone can’t help but feel uplifted. He even resonates to the audience in how wholesome and unphased he is through various trials and tribulations. This effect is damaged by a brief section of the film, but he is always positive and constructive otherwise. He and others don’t forget to add some comedy, like when he analyzes psychologist Granville Sawyer or demonstrates to Doris his mental and physical health. Both are also necessary scenes to the plot, with the film avoiding elements that only serve to be filler.

There are two major themes at play. One is pushing to do the right thing vs. profit. There is an interesting symbiosis between the two. Everyone being initially too business minded is shown to hurt everyone, like when Macy’s intends to always pressure customers into buying their own products, even if they simply don’t have what they want. Kris’ desire to always do the right thing both benefits the company and people, though he went against the store’s rules in doing so. Once everyone knows and likes Kris to the point he’s part of the business, people start compromising their own values to protect him, instead of doing so to shut him down. Either option of doing the right thing or profit comes with risks.

While the picture clearly says what is right is to accept Kris, it is still in the best interest of Macy’s and the parents to make sure whoever is going to be interacting with their children is safe. Requiring such inspections, even when gratuitous, do serve to make sure it’s harder for nasty people to get through. Still, sometimes taking a chance or breaking the rules works, like when Doris needs a new Santa at the last minute, so asks Kris to play the part. Imagine if Kris was some drunkard that did something obscene on the float? Such rule breaking would not be looked on so positively, even when it at other times is celebrated.

The other theme is pragmatism vs. following what would be better off true. Just looking at Doris, she comes off as a bit vicious and cold in her business-minded world. If everyone did act like her, as they somewhat do in the court scenes, society would to a degree be more hostile and less enjoyable. Belief in Santa certainly does give children joy, though the movie sadly doesn’t comment on whether or not it’s a good thing for them to believe. Kris frees some people from their colder way of thinking by being so nice, but this is in a sense manipulation. No one wants to be a bad guy by shooting him down or they really accept him due to not wanting to accept someone so nice is really such an issue. Doris in turn struggles with thinking he could be threatening and delusional vs. how positive of an influence he is on her daughter and everybody else. It also is often difficult to be so astute as to be always doing the logical thing. Doris was letting her daughter hangout with Fred when he very well could have been bad. At the very least, he and Doris have conflict from disagreeing on what is best for Susan.

The film looks very cozy and Christmas-y, just determined to become a classic. Things like the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade become cinematic in how grand and busy it is, with Kris sitting atop one float like a God among men. While the movie never drops playing as a straight drama that happens to be about something ridiculous, there are a few opportunities for jokes. “But if you do, remember this: you can count on getting just two votes, your own and that district attorney’s out there.” “The District Attorney’s a Republican.” There’s also, “That baseball player sure looks like a giant to me.” “Sometimes people grow very large, but that’s abnormal.” “I’ll bet your mother told you that, too.” Finally, “Sometimes I wish I married a butcher or a plumber.” “My dear, if I lose this hearing, you may very well get your wish.”

SPOILERS

It is bizarre Santa would get so angry at Sawyer and even assault him. It does betray much of what the story is going for. Seeing as Sawyer was so accusatory to Kris, what if he felt so offended by Kris that he injured himself and claimed Kris did it? Or he witnessed Kris do something with his cane that was perfectly fine, but he saw it from such an angle that it looked bad? It’s in turn really weird seeing Kris briefly give up. Was he going to stay in the hospital forever and just let Christmas go because of such a minor matter? Fred cheers him up with some pretty obvious logic that he should’ve come to on his own. Only now, Kris has basically forced Fred to get in the heat of things to help him out. Even ignoring how this contradicts my interpretation of this movie, logically shouldn’t Kris hitting Sawyer prove Sawyer right? This does go to show the stupidity of trusting in anyone that they will do no wrong. Legally declaring Santa false at the trial, which was partially the fault of Kris, is said would have drastically negative outcomes for society.

The reason Kris gets out of his legal situation is because Fred advocated for him at great personal cost, which introduced to many people’s minds that Santa could be real. At that point, Santa’s existence is decided more over money and branding. Certain people admit to not believing Santa can be real in private, but then go out in public and at least say they aren’t sure. Children are used to manipulate those that don’t want to accept that they have lied about his existence, which does go to show how strange it is that we live in a society that would be dishonest about such a thing. Just like in real life, the public needs something that could pass as “proof”. Once they get it, they just jump on accepting this wild concept with bizarre implications instead of being more critical. In fact, the reason the trial became more about proving or disproving Santa is because Fred’s claim about doing so made for a great headline.

Kris is right that it’s better for Susan to be less serious and more about the absurdities of life, like pretending to be a monkey, as that is what makes life worth living. Susan is right that it’s better to have something useful like a house than toys. In being hard to convince of the validity of Kris’ claim of being Santa Claus, Kris is in turn more persistent in trying to prove her right and thus arranges for Susan and Doris to get the house the former wants. If they already were believers, he might not have seen the need. She and her mother aren’t any perfectly logical beings however.

At the end, Doris tells her impressionable child about believing in faith. Even if it is true that some concepts are so complicated that sense probably can’t reach them, so you only get there through faith, that still can often lead to trouble. We don’t see Doris do much transitioning from thinking Santa is definitely not real to thinking he is, which goes to show how people trust in emotions and concepts over facts, just like how she originally trusted strongly that Kris should be the parade Santa because of desperation. This even gets turned around on the audience as Kris never offers proof of being Santa Claus. We essentially have to take his word for it, which is arguably the point of the film.

OVERVIEW

This film wears the cloak of the courtroom dramas of the time. A commonality is for whatever we’re seeing to become a much bigger deal than originally hoped as. Miracle on 34th Street uses this convention to make a thoughtful and funny story about the strange places the human mentality can take us. As stated in the movie, sane people can end up in wards and crazy people can remain free. No matter what can be interpreted, the picture never forgets to be jolly and lighthearted, with Gwenn and the script exuding an infectious joy in how all the problems are very nice and the villains easily swayed. Regardless, the message of the ending is that anyone, even those that think out of the box or follow authority or try to do the right thing even when it can cost their livelihoods can do something insane under the right circumstances.

Christmas in Connecticut (1945) Review

Barbara Stanwyck as Elizabeth Lane (Not Sloan!)

Christmas in Connecticut is a very charming and funny holiday film. Many wacky and bizarre things happen, with them generally being taken with a light heart. To epitomize this, John Sloan, played by Reginald Gardiner, finds the scheming of some other characters idiotic and doesn’t want to be involved, but is ultimately compelled to. It’s like the holiday spirit and comedic tone are forcing poor John into doing what the story needs, as if Christmas is this great force where magic happens. The basic concept of Barbara Stanwyck as Elizabeth Lane having to put on a fake life for the sake of pleasing her coworkers is a good hook and the movie delivers. Stanwyck is very likable, as usual. Stanwyck plays her humor-enhanced lines straight, letting the dialogue get the laughs. Her focus is on her believable character that doesn’t want to do something like interrupt or hurt anyone, but at the same time doesn’t want to lose personal things like her job or a new coat. When she does find something more stimulating and interesting, she lights up and is ready to take the world by storm.

There are a number of feminist themes at the heart of the story, which mostly revolve around Elizabeth. When she feels she has control, she takes it and enjoys it, often being fed up with those who in her eyes are not letting her just live. At around the one hour mark, she seems willing to do something she shouldn’t simply because it is finally giving her fulfillment. This is also in line with her character as this whole time she is pretending to be what is expected of a woman and considered to be the ideal, but she’s only doing it for money. A great performance of Stanwyck is when she yells about how tired she is of everything, which eventually gets to a good joke as a bonus. Arguably this “feminist” view is contradicted by her still just wanting love, but to counter that, most people want love and she doesn’t let her desire for such a thing get in the way of her job or independence. She in fact doesn’t seem to ever mind her job or wish she could be a housewife instead. Also, while she isn’t married, she claims to be, but still uses her own last name, which would suggest that in the lie she tells others she didn’t want to change it.

The other cast members essentially fill the role of giving non-comedic deliveries of comedic situations, which get laughs. Una O’Connor as Norah and to a lesser extent S.Z. Sakall as Felix Bassenak add a more wacky touch, seeming generally more animated than the others. Neither serve a crucial role, but work to steal the odd scene. Dennis Morgan as Jefferson Jones is one of the flatter, but also more important characters. He’s at his best in the beginning when he acts like this goofy guy that just wants some tasty food. The sight gag of him eating a well presented meal in a nice outfit on a raft in the middle of the water is hilarious. Another great shot is the romantic scene of two characters on a horse and carriage talking about their feelings, being surrounded by the pretty snow. The strong emotions of the characters have been just below the surface, so it doesn’t feel jarring when they finally come out, especially because the two now have privacy. The dialogue is very sweet and heartfelt. The scenes around this one are also funny.

SPOILERS

When Elizabeth first falls for Jefferson, she has a giant grin on her face and is about ready to abandon her facade for the sake of how good he makes her feel. Seeing as she probably thinks this will pass, she doesn’t go through with anything, such as a kiss. The scene gives us a nice chance to see Elizabeth be a little naughty, entertaining the possibility of being with this man. Another one of the most powerful scenes is at the end when Elizabeth is pleased to be arrested, as she will be with Jefferson and thus her marriage with John will be again put off, as if doing a social taboo can have the potential to free someone. Now that she knows she loves and wants to be with Jefferson, she lacks much of a care in the world, not even maintaining her lies when they fall apart as they to her have lost their value. This also represents her removing the mold expected of her, to be a wife and a mother in an overly idyllic scene. Even though she seems upset about losing her job, she is quick to move on to her next opportunity, not going to let things get her down. Beyond Elizabeth is Jefferson’s nurse and brief fiancée who similarly just “goes for what she wants” and doesn’t much worry about social judgment.

One issue, that also contradicts this theme, is Jefferson creepily forcing kisses on Elizabeth when she doesn’t want them. He predictably never gets in trouble for this. When Elizabeth learns that he is no longer engaged, they can in her eyes be together, which does go along with Elizabeth trying to be ethical, but also going for what she wants if there’s no reason not to have it. If you removed the lack of consent, Elizabeth going and kissing Jefferson at the end would be a great climactic moment that shows our lead finally getting what she was after. Morgan does still turn in a very good performance here, having this light in his eyes, like he is ravenous to be with Elizabeth. It’s a shame his energy here couldn’t have been used for a moment like when he finds out he doesn’t have to marry the nurse instead of on non-consensual gestures.

OVERVIEW

Ignoring any greater meaning, Christmas in Connecticut is consistently witty and well performed, with warm visuals and a sharp pace keeping the boat afloat and the 100-minute runtime feeling much shorter.

A Christmas Gift for You from Philles Records (1963) Review

The album’s cover

A Christmas Gift for You from Philles Records, also known as “The Phil Spector Christmas album” is one of the most famous Christmas albums of all time. Spector’s already very impressive production on numerous records, such as some Beatles projects, come to a head relatively early in his career. This is an album everyone can enjoy, such as the great Brian Wilson, who calls this his favorite album. There’s a lot to love in here, the singers are well regarded vocal groups, The Ronettes, The Crystals, Bob B. Soxx & the Blue Jeans, and solo artist Darlene Love (kinda), the instrumentation is done by The Wrecking Crew and of course it’s all tied by the producer, Phil Spector.

The singing is all superb. Most of the lead singers are black women with falsetto voices, all of whom do a great job of sweetening the pieces. The beautiful voices of the many singers are comforting and passionate. They warm the soul and sound like Christmas. The one male singer is Bob B. Soxx, who is also quite good. His voice is a little deeper and the songs he’s given feel appropriate with his voice. I was surprised to learn that Darlene Love is part of Bob B. Soxx & the Blue Jeans, though this album doesn’t make that clear. The front cover features Love separately from Soxx. Strangely, the other backing singer in the Blue Jeans isn’t on the cover, despite there being no reason to exclude her. The two singers with Soxx are session singers. Spector is also the guy that made multiple records with The Crystals that didn’t actually feature The Crystals, just the name. While The Crystals are featured on this album, it’s hard to tell them apart from The Ronettes. Even when one of their songs would lead into one by the other, I’d think it was the same group twice. One favorite part of the album is the end of “Frosty the Snowman”, which features a triumphant harmony section about Frosty, which feels like a climax, despite being near the beginning of the record.

This album has many “climaxes”, there’s a big satisfying feeling of positivity and wellness. That’s due to the instrumentation, which gets one into the spirit. Even ignoring things like literal jingle bells, the various instruments feel Christmas-esque. They’re often downplayed and subdued, but rise up to give emotion and weight to the singers. My favorite drummer of all time is featured, Hal Blaine. Just as all good drumming should, it provides a backbeat and rhythm to a work, but adds its own flavor. The drumming is cool and composed. It’s ringing and hitting in the background, keeping everything together. The saxophone players are other notable elements. The fact that saxes are vocal performances, they give the opportunity for the players to dig their voice in the instruments, similarly to how the singers really sing it loud and proud. The numerous session musicians all give a punch and a kick on the album. It’s all very powerful and moving. You feel emotions about characters like Frosty the Snowman and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer because everyone’s so in it. That’s Christmas.

Unfortunately, this is Christmas. The lyrics are often lackluster. Instead of portraying an emotional development or meaningful lyrics, it’s about things that are hard to make work. The lyrics tend to be mundane and boring. It’s talking about going on a sleigh ride or to a parade. Nothing really happens in the songs, it’s just fluff. It takes all the effort of the other elements to make this problem kind of work. This includes embellishes on Spector’s part, adding rich, dynamic harmonies or drastically changing how something’s sung from the original versions. It’s very impressive that it all works so well. Words that don’t sound well sung can kill songs, but these songs are very listenable and in fact great. This is something one can easily listen to once a year. The grand and captivating songs are so moving, while the lyrics are none of those things.

OVERVIEW

The true visionary behind this whole project is Phil Spector. His “Wall of Sound”, which blends tons and tons of instruments together, is what makes his music so special. Everything is constantly building with the perfectly chosen instrument and the pay off is so satisfying. The album ends beautifully, with a wholesome and charming spoken word by the very young-sounding Phil Spector, which is proceeded by a rich, wordless harmony, presumably by these groups. It gives a triumphant close to this album, tying it all together. This is especially interesting as there’s very little instrumentation, really just a violin. It carries us to the end and leaves the audience shocked by how impressive it all is and cozy for the holiday season.

The Beach Boys Miscellaneous Christmas Tracks (1964 & 1977) Review

Ultimate Christmas’ funny album cover

As is common with albums, not every song is going to make the cut. The Beach Boys made two Christmas albums. The first, The Beach Boys’ Christmas Album, was released in 1964. The second, Merry Christmas from the Beach Boys, was never released. Some of its tracks, the first album, and some other Christmas works were released in 1998 on the Ultimate Christmas compilation album. With one exception, all of these tracks were cut during the Merry Christmas sessions and most were likely intended for the album. They didn’t make the cut and turns out the album didn’t either. It made Ultimate Christmas, so they can now be enjoyed.

“Santa’s Got an Airplane”

This is another silly song. Merry Christmas featured some, but I guess there was a limit. We once more cover an absurd premise of Santa Claus needing to get a better ride. The whole group sings on the track and very well… except for Mike Love, but it’s easy to ignore him. It’s a shame, because everyone else has energy and spirit in their voices, but Mike drops the ball. It’s almost like they really want you to know that Santa’s got an airplane. They sing lines like “Fly Away!” in a spirited and warm way. It helps paint the picture of the story. Their voices are raised, as is Santa, because he’s in the sky. The instruments serve a very small role in the song, but they’re not really needed. This song works well carried by its vocals. Perhaps the easy to miss instruments are easy to miss as they were recorded in 1969. Why not rerecord them so they match the ‘77 vocals better?

“(I Saw Santa) Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”

The instruments and lead vocals work well. Al Jardine does a good job of expressing the song with his singing. This is imaginably due to him co-writing the piece. The lyrics aren’t great by any means, but they are written in a way where they can be sung well. The song’s interrupted by spoken word from Al’s kids, Matt and Adam Jardine. They do kill the pacing, but the use of them provides a little more Christmas spirit.

“Melekalikimaka” (aka “Kona Christmas”)

I was banging my head on my hand for part of this one. It’s the sum of the faults of the band at this point. How am I going to spend Christmas? By surfing of course! and in Hawaii. It’s stupid, but not in a fun way. This song’s almost depressing. Since the 60’s, the group has tried to hold onto relevance in the culture. One way this is done is by doing throwbacks to old songs that were successful, like their surfing songs. You can tell there’s no passion or care here. This is a bunch of pandering garbage, once again sung by uninterested Mike and it’s not worth anyone’s time.

“Bells of Christmas”

This song is once again standard, alright vocals and instruments, but there’s an interesting aspect to the piece. Biblical references are frequently brought up. There’s many references to God throughout the Beach Boys’ discography. This song is one of the expressions of that. I was surprised that Brian Wilson didn’t write this one as he seems the most interested in this element of life. These first four songs have all featured Al in a writing and lead vocal role, though he usually shared with others. I wonder if he was interested in the subject of Christmas or perhaps there’s another reason. Some of these songs aren’t as bad as some that made it on the main track listing. On Merry Christmas, only two songs feature an Al writing credit. Why was he writing so many of these songs and then they weren’t featured? The group could’ve used some of this stuff. Al seems to care the most about this album of the lot, based on his songwriting and singing. Overall, no one seemed very interested in the Christmas project, so why even bother?

“Toy Drive Public Service Announcement”

Here’s some more actual creativity. In this short ditty, the band is telling people that some kids don’t have toys due to a lack of money, so bring your’s to “Crystal Ship”. However, they aren’t saying it… they’re singing it. Someone might listen to this on the radio, think it’s a normal song, and perhaps get inspired to help. The Beach Boys do well when taking a little concept and playing with it. One problem that may be the fault of the recording I heard is that some of the lyrics were difficult to make out. A big criticism for many of their Christmas songs is that there’s little about them to differentiate them from any other Christmas song. Here, their charm is making this their own… and it’s just a little PSA.

“Dennis Wilson Christmas Message”

This piece is similar to “Auld Lang Syne” from Christmas Album. The whole gang’s singing, only for that to shift into background noise so Dennis Wilson can do spoken word. He’s telling us to donate toys so kids can get them. A.) We already did this last song and B.) Dennis’ voice is so creepy. Due to all the drug and alcohol abuse, his voice is raspy and dry. In “Auld Lang Syne”, his voice was much nicer to listen to. Maybe the group wanted to uphold that tradition. For the sake of the album, why not get Al or Brian to give this message as their voices are a lot softer and friendlier. Brian sounds like your nice grandpa. The background music wasn’t too bad, though it’s very hard to hear (by design) for most of the piece. I wouldn’t mind hearing it without the Dennis part.

“Brian Wilson Christmas Interview”

I was looking forward to the one non-70s track for this whole Christmas excursion. Hopefully, Brian would give some interesting insight. When I finally reached it, I was disappointed as it’s just Brian having a quite boring conversation about their 1964 Christmas album. This seems like standard promotional material that comes with albums and movies. However, near the end, Brian talked about The Four Freshman briefly. Despite how briefly he was on the topic, it was so nice hearing Brian give love and praise to a band he loves so much. He called them, “one of the greater vocal influences in the world”. This is a good way of contextualizing Brian and maybe this whole band. They wear their influences on their sleeves.

OVERVIEW

Christmas albums are hard to pull off in general, but The Beach Boys certainly didn’t do the concept justice in the 60s or the 70s. There are some good ideas, but they are unrealized and rushed typically. It makes for a difficult listening experience.

Merry Christmas from the Beach Boys (1977) Review

A fan-made cover for the album

There’s quite the story behind the seemingly unimpressive M.I.U. Album. Its origins stem from 1977 where band member Brian Wilson did what he knew best, lose his mind and write a bunch of weird songs. As is typical, the other band members didn’t get it and more importantly, their label didn’t get it and the project was scrapped. This project of his was called Adult/Child. The band then got to work on two albums, one a Christmas album called Merry Christmas from the Beach Boys and another, California Feeling. Both utilized Adult/Child to a minimal degree. Surely one of them will be accepted. Upon the completion of the albums, they were rejected by the label and over a bit of time, these three albums were modified and cut down to be more commercial… mostly without Carl and Dennis Wilson, both disliked this fourth endeavor for lacking artistic integrity. The ultimate product of all this work resulted in M.I.U. Album, which was accepted. Merry Christmas seemed worth discussing as it and Adult/Child were mostly recorded and written to be their own thing. California Feeling and M.I.U. Album are basically compilation albums with songs from various years and intentions.

Seeing as this album was never officially released, I’ve obtained these tracks from the 1998 compilation album, Ultimate Christmas. Any tracks not on it were obtained from bootleg releases or other official release if available. The songs were listened to in order of the track listing they were ordered in for release.

“Christmas Time Is Here Again”

Surprisingly, this piece isn’t bad. It’s very wordy and simplified, but it’s not done too badly. The singing and drumming were surprisingly good. I’m not a fan of stories that paint a metaphorical picture of everything being perfectly happy and clean. One interesting lyric refers to the singer being sixteen. This gives the impression of the band trying to reference the good ol’ days of being young. The Beach Boys would do more throwbacks as time progressed. They’ve seemed to dislike being in their thirties and lacking relevance with the current culture of ‘77.

“Child of Winter (Christmas Song)”

This track suffers from the singer lacking enthusiasm, it’s more like spoken word due to the limited vocal stylization. Mike Love’s singing here is at the same level throughout. He’s not really singing and that kills the song. This is one of his least impressive performances. The lyrics don’t help, which is just listing details about nothing. “Here’s details about Christmas and how I feel about it, what does this mean?” Nothing, really.

“Winter Symphony”

Not too shabby. It was immediately refreshing after hearing Child to be greeted with some good vocals and great keyboard playing, probably by Brian. The trend of just describing Christmas is continued, but after a false ending half way through, we jump into an instrumental that lasts until almost the end. The instrumental section is the best part of the song. Instrumentals can be the best way of describing something as it can give more nuance and depth than words can. However, this one doesn’t do that. The instrumental isn’t Christmasy. The instrumental sadly wasn’t rescued from this song and put on another, non-Christmas album where it belongs.

“Michael Row the Boat Ashore”

Mike Love sings again and much better than last time. Its slightly more complex lyrics than the earlier songs and once more good instrumentals are applaudable, but then it all devolved into a pretty repetitive and uninteresting piece. The chorus is sung over and over again. I almost wonder if Mike just said it once or twice and that was just repeated over and over.

“Seasons in the Sun”

Finally, a great song. This one is beautiful. It’s about someone remembering the good times with an old friend. The work is a little depressing as the singer says the relationship’s gone, but they don’t just say that. That message is communicated with lines like, “Like the seasons, have all gone”. This is the power of a good holiday song. There’s meaning that can be derived from the change in weather and social climate. People act differently in Winter and Summer, same with trees and animals. Several parallels are drawn. Lines like “the birds are singing in the sky” are paralleled by the excellent backing vocals. The light, spring time is mirrored with a lovely trumpet. That’s right, spring, no winter elements, including Christmas, are mentioned. It’s stated that old things they used to do, like beaches, wine, and singing, are gone now. All of this parallels happy and warm times. This song is saying that to varying degrees, we lose this feeling in the Winter, so this song isn’t even pro-winter time. Despite that, “Seasons in the Sun” is an intelligent and sophisticated piece that deserves to be heard by everyone due to its harmonies and thoughtful lyrics, among other qualities.

“Morning Christmas”

This one’s hard to grasp. The slow harmony that the whole song is sung as is a nice change of pace, but it isn’t reaching or grabbing the listener. The lyrics are once again bad, but there’s not much of them. Lyrics like, “Children love to play, Children laugh, Children love to sing” are positive and supportive of the winter time, but lines like, “Cold wind blowing” aren’t. The whole song is sung in a melancholy style. There’s once again an instrumental portion and while it is a highlight, it isn’t as good as the other one. This song is too all over the place to really be comprehended. It doesn’t help that the audio quality is quite poor. I needed to look at the lyrics while listening so I could understand what was being said.

“Alone on Christmas Day”

“Child of Winter” has great vocals in comparison to this. I got tired listening to how bored Mike obviously was. I can just imagine him reading the lyrics with no life in him. The lyrics are okay. Real singing could propel them way more. The line “Alone on Christmas Day” recurs throughout the song, only to be subverted at the end with, “In reality you’ll never be Alone on Christmas Day.” That’s a highlight. This song also has a brief instrumental portion, but it’s unimpressive just like the instruments for this whole song. Those musicians sound bored as well.

“Go and Get That Girl”

The vocals are admirable here. There’s some effort in describing the story. While the singers seem somewhat disinterested, it’s still more than Mike was. The instruments are the most impressive part of the piece, with trumpets once again emphasizing the goings on. This girl wants you, go get her! This one’s one of the better songs featured, but it doesn’t try much and doesn’t achieve much. This also has nothing to do with Christmas or winter.

“Santa’s On His Way”

This one’s pretty amusing. It starts pretty typically, moderately interested singer sings of Christmas happenings with more interesting instrumentals. The keyboard is once again king. Here, the song’s about Santa and his sled. He’s actually got a new sled. This sled’s a 747 with a “super-speed” clutch. This sled also has cargo doors and can defy physics. The sled’s also used outside of Christmas for local runs and Mrs. Claus has joy rides on the weekends. The sled is taken to car shows and drag races. I am without words for how dumb this song is. I guess it’s a throwback to their earlier car songs, but I’m filled with questions. Why relate it to Santa? Why have the first half of the song unrelated to the sled’s specs? Why do more car songs? This tune is pretty fun and easy to listen to and like. This song does damage to the integrity of an album trying to be serious, but seeing as the album is failing to do much of note, this is a little Christmas treat.

“I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”

This piece is sung pretty straightforward by a group of children with the Beach Boys doing backing vocals. The two different types of voices, child and adult, don’t compliment each other. The kids also aren’t very good singers. However, those aren’t the main problems. This song doesn’t try anything new. The instruments and the singers sing this basically like how anyone else has over the years. Think of Beach Boy songs like “Sloop John B”, which brilliantly reinvent old tunes. The band may as well have just not participated in this recording and just pulled one of the million stock recordings around. It’d sound the same.

“Xmas Carol Medley”

I was glad to see a medley was thrown in this mix, only to be disappointed by more child singers. I think they’re the same ones that did the last one. However, here they’re sharing lead with the Beach Boys. The singing is decent. The instruments are decent. I’m a big fan of reinventing old songs with creative techniques, such as medleys. The songs are woven together well and it’s a fair tune to listen to. One highlight is the very wholesome ending line, “We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year”. It’s a peaceful and relaxing way to end the album and by extension, the year. One change that would’ve helped the piece would be to lose the kids and have the Beach Boys be the only singers. They are better singers and can carry the piece further. Overall, this one isn’t good, but it’s not bad either.

OVERVIEW

Merry Christmas from the Beach Boys is unimpressive. Every right it does is contrasted by two wrongs. Instead of slogging through these eleven tracks, just listen to “Seasons in the Sun” eleven times. Maybe toss in “Santa’s On His Way” or another “fun” one. I’ve wondered why the Beach Boys did another Christmas album. I suspect that their lack of commercial appeal and their fragmenting as a band may have given them a need to have a little more positivity tossed in their life and discography

or maybe they thought it’d make money.